Book Review: Free Agent Lifestyle

Chapter 1. Introduction

The book begins with an autobiographical account of the authors character — a man that defines himself as determined. He lives life intentionally, to plan the road ahead as much as possible to avoid pitfalls and traps that life throws.
Thus setting up the premise of the book, as a life style guide, with the target market of men, presumably in their twenties, looking for guidance to set up the coming decades of their life.

He then condones competitors within that sphere that seeks to profit for giving advice to young men. He condones the pick up artist community that teaches young men how to supposedly approach women with confidence, enhance “alpha frame” and seduce them. He condones guides on getting married. Funnily enough, despite being a mens guide, there are parallel sentiments in spheres of the feminist community — after all, are pick up artists not “creeps”? Isn’t marriage an “archaic patriarchal institution”?

The free agent life style, from what i can gather is a mens self development guide that encourages independence in men and with that, comes the arguably radical notion to avoid dating, relationships, marriage, having children and consumerism. Funnily enough, this is what people of religious orders such as Buddhist monks, have done for thousands of years. In a sense, this “Free agent life-style”, up to this point, sounds like a rebranding of such practises. I guess the additional value added from this book is the sociological analysis of the modern day dating market which has been changed from forces such as technology and social media.

The first chapter ends with a word of warning, from the authors personal experience, that individuals who openly discuss such ideas are attacked — often through shaming tactics, such as attacks on masculinity such as accusations of homosexuality, sexual market place value, poor judgement, being emotionally bitter.

Chapter 1.2 Authors personal experience of divorce

The author dives straight in with the “$60,000” price tag of his divorce and amusingly enough, compares himself to Jesus by describing himself being made into the sacrificial lamb of the divorce courts. He describes the days afterwards where he had to move into his ford car as a temporary home and reflecting on all his past decisions that lead him to his position.

He reflected how neither him nor his ex-wife was perfect, but he does feel a sense of injustice from the family court where his children were described as pawns that were weaponised against him.

He cites how ~80% of divorces are initiated by women. He describes the psychological shock he felt during the divorce proceedings when he felt not only betrayal, but he saw a side of his ex-wife which he had never seen before, such that he started to question if he had really know her truly all these years together. Spending 100+ days in family court over 7 years left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He then goes onto a sociological analysis of why we don’t hear more about the suffering of men:

1. The pain of trauma alone is too great
2. Fear that their masculinity will be diminished for complaining, which is seen as weak and effeminate
3. They resolved their personal pain through private counselling.
   They move on with life and let it be.
4. They are shamed by their friends on social media

Chapter 1.3 The rules of the free agent lifestyle

1. Do not move in with a woman or live together if in a relationship.
2. Accept that long-term relationships either turn into marriage or end.
3. Marriage.
   Know your statistics!
   - In the UK, 60% of couples divorce by the 20 year mark — and in America, the author claims it’s 70% by the 10th year.
   - side note, divorce costs the UK tax payer £46 billion a year
   - Long marriages ending in divorce may lead to life time alimony apparently, though I am not sure if this applies to the UK alimony laws.

The author then goes onto to say that emotions, rather than logic lead men into marriage. These stats cannot be discredited and thus, partners often makes an appeal:
1. “I would never do that”
2. “Not all women are like that”
however, the author argues enough women are like that and the statistics are significant. Ultimately, the author argues that marriage is ultimately an unequal institution that favours the woman over men.

It’s not that marriage is all out bad — but there is a push by the author of the idea that long term monogamous marriage is the ONLY way to be happy in life. Many other life styles are on the table:
remain single, have multiple girlfriends, date non-exclusively with no commitment, polyamory, what ever suits the individual.
Which funnily enough, I hear, once again from many feminist circles.

Chapter 2: Freedom

Lays out more rules:

1. Stay clear of debt
2. Remain free from banks
3. Limit commitments — be it work or relationships. It’s not to shun commitment all together — but to develop ones self before giving away your commitment. If you give away your commitment easily without showing value, you will not be respected int he long term.
4. Make money!
   Turn a side hustle or skill into an income.
   Invest your money.
   Instead of making someone else money, make your own money through self-employment — do your own marketing, obtain your own clients, and go to your clients rather then wait for them to come to you. Set your own schedule, price and standards.
5. Don’t get distracted by online dating or chasing women.

The inspiration for free agent lifestyle came from the authors experience as a basketball coach. In the athletic world, athletes sign contracts for a team and when the contract has expired, they are free to sign onto any other team of their choosing. This is in contrast to how life was back in the 1970’s where, when an athletes contract ends, the club can still force the athlete to remain and sign back in with them. The author believes that marriages should work like this — that one should create say a 7 year contract and at the end of it, the partners can choose to go their separate ways without penalty, secure a better deal or remain free.

On commitment, the author states do not commit to a relationship unless you can demonstrate high value first. Only then will you have options first, will not be seen as disposable and replaceable, and if anything, the person you do commit to will ultimately value you more.

Chapter 3. If you do get married, do it when you’re older

Why do people marry? For love, yes, but there are other reasons. Children, companionship, pass on legacy.
The book makes an argument that for men, it is better to do this later in life.
If you take care of your health and finances, you should be able to attract a partner in your 40s, as mens SMV does not crash at 30 like womens do. You’ll also be richer and wiser which will benefit your eventual long term partner and future children.

The is no longer in a situation like 50 years ago, to accommodate couples getting married young. Being solo as a man means you can take more risks without a partners permission — start a business, invest in stocks, travel without commitment to babies, relocate to take advantage of bargain housing deals.

The author writes about his regret of over looking red-flags and marrying young at a time when he had a scarcity mindset. He recalls after his divorce how he met women who would have been better wives in his judgement.

The most valuable thing a man has to offer a woman is his commitment. Through commitment, the man will commit his time, money and energy to her.

Chapter 3.1 Avoid boxing yourself in

Work

1. At work. Don’t commit to one company. Generally, waiting for a promotion at work will not gain you as much money as selling yourself and reassessing your worth again and again on the market.
2. Take the experience you’ve learnt from your company and start your own business

Real Estate

1. Consider investing in four-plexes, gentrified neighbourhoods, multiple-single family residences in small towns, apartment buildings and hotels.
   Since these places have multiple residencies, if a tenant moves, your income does not end. You just have to replace one tenant whilst the other continues to pay rent.
   Suggested reading on this topic: Robert Kiyosaki and Grand Cardone.
2. Don’t rush to buy a single family residence home for yourself. Commercials are made by banks to sell the emotion of purchasing these properties. Your money will go towards mortgage, furnishings, and home depot. Why not live minimally and invest in properties that will make you money?
   What if another opportunity pops up in another country? You cannot move as easily once you are chained to your property.

Avoid buying new cars

When you buy a new car, it’s value decreases by 7% as soon as you drive it out. You don’t want to be indebted to paying off this car for the next 5–8 year. Without insurance, if the car breaks down, you still have to pay off debt. Cars are simply not investments. Often people buy fancy cars to impress people but the type of people they attract are the wrong types…

Chapter 4— Hobbies

Chapter 5 is quite funny. The author just goes off to list his personal hobbies which includes traveling and learning from other cultures, treating himself to dinner at steak houses, going to concerts, sporting events, museums. He likes going to the gun range and considers this a good litmus test to filter out long term partners who are socially left wing.

He rants about how cinemas are too expensive and much prefer the peace, quiet and freedom that going hunting, fishing or camping brings. Try out convention events — fitness expos, comic-cons, vid-cons even porn-cons.

The bottom line of this chapter is, be the master of your own schedule!

Chapter 5 — Ranting about modern day dating

The author rants about double standards in society such his experiences of women wanting the benefits of traditional marriage without up holding the traditional responsibilities — for example staying chaste until marriage. He also rants about the over-sexualisation of this culture but is angered at labelled a misogynist for speaking up.

Though not all woman are like this, he believes enough women are — in that they see men as utilities and sources for societal validation.

He discourages the use of dating apps. They waste a mans time. He rants about how too many low value women are on dating apps such as single mothers and overweight women. Also, be cautious of long distance relationships and flaky girls that ghost men.

Chapter 5.1 Shit tests

Basic level: “Do i look fat in this dress?”. Not touching the dinner bill.
Advanced level: Show up late for dates, broken down car and need rescuing
Nuclear level: Going to dinner with an ex, girls nights out and cutting off communication during “hook up hours”, trips to holiday destinations known for hook up culture such as Ibiza.
Once nuclear shit tests begin, the relationship is basically over. Nuclear level shit tests often force the man to dump her which has the benefit of her playing the victim card. The irony is this is essentially emotional abuse from the woman side, to take a stable situation and intentionally make it unstable, to instigate anxiety.

Some men try to react to such tests with trying to impress their partner with masculine frame. The author instead simply says don’t get emotional, don’t argue, and don’t fight … simply walk away.

Chapter 6 — Prioritise your life

Money is a valuable asset. Make more money to yield more power and opportunity, which enables generating more money.
Time is a valuable asset. Cut out women and friends who will not benefit your life. Think of Tupac! He died at the age of 25, you don’t know how long you have left!

Get your finances in order

Learn about finances! Learn about interest rates. SNP500, Dow Jones Index, NASDAQ. Learn the differences between residual and passive income.

1. Create a budget spreadsheet and track where your money is going to. Utilities, recurring payments and monthly expenses.
2. Save for emergencies!
3. Once you have enough money, consider hiring a financial advisor.
4. Maintain a good credit score, it will help you with loans, apartment rent and job applications. Your bank should entitle you to a credit report each year but websites like Credit Karma also exist.
5. Pay cash for day to day products.

Learn to work with your hands!

Learn about blue-collar tasks such as fixing a broken toilet. Driving a truck.

Register your business

Even if it’s a side hustle, you’ll be more likely to work on it in your free time after it has been registered and a business bank account established.

Invest in your health

All the money in the world is pointless without good health. Mental, physical, spiritual, sexual and emotional.

Chapter 7 — More lifestyle tips

1. Massages — Treat yourself to sports massages, therapeutic massages and Swedish massages in spa settings. Wealthy executives do this because they understand the return in investment on this activity. Once a month is suggested to release the toxins from your muscles.
2. Get manicures and pedicures — NO NAIL POLISH! It will help you especially if you are a salesman, entrepreneur or businessman.
3. Long Drives — The author has had his best ideas when taking long drives or long showers. He has a recorder to transcribe his ideas if he don’t have pen and paper ready.

Criticisms of this book

1. Proceed through this book with caution. I think this author knows that his business thrives on outrage, shock and insecurities of men, and so the author has vested interests in skewing the narrative at times. For example, in chapter 2, the author claims 70–80% of women experience post-natal depression that can last up to 3 years (implying that a big head ache awaits for you in marriage and procreation), and yet the NHS website say only 10% of women experience post-natal depression and says this is often not severe.
2. The author claims to have never done drugs (thus psychedelics), and says lines like there is no life after this. Clearly he is a materialistic in his grand world view, though stoic and anti-consumerist in his approach to life. He has not read Jung. This may tinge his advice with a lack of a holistic approach — though he has made me more informed of the dangers that potentially await me in life.